Making mistakes isn’t as important as what we do about them.
Use these steps after you have had a chance to cool off.
1) Recognize the mistake with a feeling of responsibility instead of blame.
2) Reconcile by apologizing. Children are so forgiving.
3) Resolve the problem by working together on a respectful solution.
I thought this Positive Discipline Tool Card would be a good follow-up to the Mistakes tool card. Have you ever tried apologizing to your child? It is so refreshing because kids are very forgiving. As adults we just need to put our ego aside long enough to make the effort.
I think sometimes parents may be hesitant to apologize to their children because they are in constant power struggles and apologizing may feel like losing. But if you are in constant power struggles with your child and you are always "winning" the struggle...what does that make your child? I have used the 3 Rs of Recovery with my kids many times and I have never once felt like they took advantage of me afterward. I always have a renewed feeling of closeness and trust.
Try it out this week. If you are like me, you should have plenty of opportunities to apologize. :-)
2 comments:
I actually appreciate the opportunities to apologize to my son. Those moments can be really raw but so rewarding at the same time.
I also think that it is necessary at times to "Regather" before we are able to Recognize. When we feel better, we do better. :)
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